Is It Worth It?

I've been thinking about cousins for a while now. Growing up, while I never lived super close to my cousins, I would say I was pretty close with a couple of them. Other cousin relationships have been strengthened as both of us grew up and had families of our own. Now I don't see my cousins very often. None of them live close by. But I always thinks it's fun we we do have a chance to be together. Facebook sure has helped us to stay in touch, but even then, sometimes maintaining a bond takes some work. And sometimes I find myself thinking, is it worth it??

My husband comes from a LARGE family, even by Mormon standards. He is one of nine children. His is one of almost 40 grand kids on his mom's side. When he grew up, none of his cousins lived close by and he only saw them on occasion at a family reunion. Several are close to his age and I think our bond with them was strengthened when we were first married and some of us attended college together. While we don't keep in close touch with all of his cousins, there are a small handful we do keep up with and try to see when possible. Does it take work, definitely, but we so enjoy keeping in touch with them. And thank goodness, again, for modern technology.

My kids only have one cousin on my side of the family and probably won't have more than 2 more. On my husband's side (see note about LARGE family above), my kids have 25 cousins and counting. None of them live close by and we see them only once every couple of years. Facebook and blogs help us keep up with the cousins. I also have created photo books of our family get togethers and my kids love looking at those. At times, it takes considerable effort to keep up with all of these cousins. Again, is it worth it??

As I have thought about it, my first answer is: I hope so. For the Princess, given that her only sibling (probably) has special needs, I have prayed that she will develop close ties with her cousins to help get her through the tough times she will face in life. I hope that the efforts we make now to keep in touch with the cousins will blossom in the future.

As I have watched my parents and their cousins, my other answer is: YES! Earlier this year, my mom's uncle passed away. He was survived by three adult children. While his passing seemed to draw those three siblings closer together, as his estate has been settled, a lot of bickering has ensued. My mom has kept in touch over the years with one of these three siblings, her cousin Wendy. Wendy never married and has spent a large part of her adult life caring for her parents before each of them passed. Over the last few months, I've seen my mom reach out to Wendy, look out for her and provide Wendy some much needed support as her dad's estate is settled. One weekend in particular, my mom invited Wendy up to her house. They shopped, went out to eat and visited. I know many more weekends like this will happen in the future. I often wonder what Wendy would do without cousins like my mom.

My conclusion is that we never know when we will need the support of our extended families, so any effort we make now to strengthen those family bonds will be worth it in the end.